Thursday, April 16, 2009


I have come to several conclusions about life. One. I am an adult. As shocking as that seems to some of you, it is true. I know, I know. You're all thinking "How in the hell did God let that happen?" Well, it did. Interestingly enough, I personally don't feel like I've changed all that much from this year to last year. I'm the same old Mandy that we've always known, just a year older. No big deal. Anyway, with my adult status, I have noticed how people still second guess my decisions that I make for my life. It's not like I'm still not a legal adult and I have to have parental/gardian approval for quite a lot of things. I can do what I want, generally speaking, and the only people who I really have to answer to are my self, the law and God. Personally, I think that I am a responsable, level headed, intelligent adult who is fully capable of making her own decisions and I don't need people to second guess me and make sure that I'm doing the right thing and that I've thought about all my options. I know what I need to do for me and I've thought about how that will effect myself, others, and my relationship with them. I don't need to be questioned; I need to be supported. Two: it is really difficult to leave a place that you've made your home and established yourself in. I have a home and a family here at Queens. We are supportive of each other, and keep one another in check. We have no problem of telling someone they're doing something stupid. And certainly there are people here who are more mature and wise than others, and there are some who are more innocent and niaeve. It's pretty awsome to have such a great community floor where everybody talks to one another and cares for one another and feels welcome in their rooms. I don't really want to leave it. I live here with all these other people, and my friend/family unit of sorts. It's rather dificult to know that you've got to leave all of this wonderfulness of love, care and support. I know, the thought from all of you guys is "but THIS is your home. WE'RE your family." And that is true, I am related to you by either blood or marriage, and I do have a room and food and I am welcome, but family is a support system. It's a network, a connection, between a group of people who love and care for one another, and will call some of its members out when they're being stupid, unwise, assholes. If there's anything I've learned from all of you, it's that. You don't really need to have any sort of blood or legal connection for that, just some sort of connection. Here at Queens with my group, ours is that we were all stuck together in Albright and we're freshman and new to this whole thing. This is something that I don't want to leave.

1 comment:

R said...

Well- I certainly TRIED to help you think thru staying there if you remember correctly. I support your deceisions- within reasons- you wanna come home? The light is left on for you always! and if its off- you know where the light switch is- and if the power is out-you certainly know where I keep the candles!
Remember that thought you shared about not everybody being up to par with each other there sometimes- a few of you on a different level of maturity so to speak....allowing each other to keep you all in check in the foolishness department- stupidity so to speak..."Get down idiot!" "Go to bed dummEE!"
You had all came across a huge growth period there together-
Attachments had become emotional there- chosen family so to speak. and THOSE CAN BE STRONGER than many others we are thrown into....
by blood or marriage.
but ...allow me to "mind your business" a moment.
You are very special and loved by many here- where I am sitting and nearby as well.
We have watched you develop, grow up and ...out! change from a damp butterfly into a beautiful young woman. And believe it or not- we ALL enjoy a bit of your foolishness from time to time and would appreciate you ....hovering a bit closer to home a few weeks this summer- so we can enjoy you up close and personal.
It does our hearts good to see your growth, your chatter becoming conversation, and your use of all those legs instead of tripping over yourself as you once did.
Your reading material is only becoming more intellectual, your spending habits maturing and your smile more brighter.
Allow US all a bit of your time this summer to see how you've grown and give Eldon time to become more comfortable with your growth. We love you very much and only desire to enjoy you- not trap, chain and harness. He loves with every breath in his body, one you will realize for a long time yet- but one day you will, I promise.
and so for that, I am thru! Minding YOUR business!
So -how was the PLAY!???